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random observations at 6 am

puppy barking breaks like dawn
tears me from sleep
fucking dog
you just lay there pretending you don't hear
me cursing and stubbing my toe
Chica....Chica...FANG SHUT UP
6 am and there's no caffeine
there's no milk
did I forget,
and when the fuck did I become
Doris muthafukkin Day anyway?
puppy sleeping on mt t shirt
settles in and snoozing soundly
your snoring and hers
time life edition lithographs
suitable for framing
happy family
this is what I gave it up for
this is what I wanted
white fence
cat and dog
snoring husband
wide awake at 6:15
no caffeine
and still....

hey kids

I'MMMMMMMMMMM BAAAAACK....miss me? Ive missedyou too

Writer's Block: Resolved

A lot of resolutions, from the mundane to the truly ambitious, are being made today. What are your New Year's resolutions? Do you think you're likely to stick to them past the month of January?
i realy havent made any reolutions maybe to write more i guess its been a long time since ive written anything here i started a home based business that kind of monopolizes my spare time....so im a ghost but im still here.


was that supposed to hurt?
was it accidental
the venom dripping from your voice
the fire in your eyes
were you intense in pain?
is there really any difference
and are you proud
leaving me ashamed
was this meant to kill?
or just stun
was it something left undone?
did you tie up these loose ends for me or you?
i realise the pain i caused
i understand you hate me
my only one and only regret
is you drew your weapon faster


when i stop
you fade away
too far for me to see
when i move you follow me
lurking in the shadows
of a heart
to many times betrayed
of a soul so many times set upon
by the fangs and claws of what
you realy are
in my winter
coloured dreams
you are fire
burning through all the bullshit that im swimming through
blue eyed and violet wrath
red blooded aftermath
the bruises you leave
leave me wanting
to stop
and watch you fade away

fuck this

this is not a poemt
its an observation
ive been broken
since i named my self
ive been lost
since we found each other again
ive been troubled
since i stopped dancing
with trouble
what is this
when did that
why is this
i dontknow
im on my knees
sucking satan's cock
getting fucked
by my mistakes
pushed down
into the mud and muck
by the boots of a world
i helped create
crying like an infant
crumbling like an ancient
where is the ocean
where is my saviour
not in the mirror


did you know that ive been here
waiting in the aftermath
for the smoke to roll on by
day after day and still its....
cloudy as a mother fucker
something left out in the rain
disolving into paperbits
confetti hearts
skin to skin and i dont doubt
when youre inside me i know the truth
but when youre not

oh and he questions
every phonecall every errand
eversince you walked out
ever sinceyou lied to me
yes youre home now
and i believe i have forgiven...
at least i am beggining

the forgiving

but it comes slow
too tired to talk
to listen you
melt into the shadows
giving birth to
with your hand in my hand
we are strong again...
but when youre not here...
how do ibecome so weak
baby lets be honest
again for a little while
tell me why youre really here
tell me why youre back again
keep telling me
please keep telling me....

yes my love
i believe ill be alright


its only me again
you dont have to answer
just be aware
what youve done
what youre doing
is it what you
always were afraid youde do
what youve become
so much less than glamorous
so much less impressive
be care full what
youre wishing for
youre gonna get it in the end.


resurrection comes
into not knowing
confuses even
the ones
who were supposed to know better.
where were you
where was I
am I still
what you need
me to be
even here
even now
in all this smoke
the dust settles
are we
golden one
do we still see
eyes to eye
are you still the one who
loves me best of all?
am I still your everything?
thunder in my ears
lightning in my blood
aching in my heart a storm's
been brewing
longing to crash forth
the ecstasy
of yes or no
and the regret of


so im back
back from the dead
parts stitched back together
in my
into blood and darkness
wheres the light
you promised?
dusty heart beats
out of sync
loosing the rythm
why did you bring me back
face scarred
soul lost
grand zombie
Damballah's laughing
why did you do this thing
bring me back
to make me this
you should have left me dead



Latest Month

May 2010